lunes, 13 de abril de 2015

Rules For Dogs!!!!


Rules for Dogs


NEWSPAPERS: If you have to go to the bathroom while playing

in the front yard, always use the newspaper that's placed

in the driveway every morning for that purpose.


VISITORS: Quickly determine which guest is afraid of dogs.

Charge across the room barking loudly and leap playfully on

this person. If the human falls down on the floor and starts

crying, lick its face and growl gently to show your concern.


BARKING: Because you are a dog, you are expected to bark. So

bark -- a lot. Your owners will be very happy to hear you

protecting their house. Especially late at night while they

are sleeping safely in their beds. There is no more secure

feeling for a human than to keep waking up in the middle of

the night to the tune of your protective bark, bark, bark...


LICKING: Always take a BIG drink from your water dish

immediately before licking your human. Humans prefer clean

tongues. Be ready to fetch your human a towel.


HOLES: There are never enough holes in the ground. Strive

daily to do your part to correct this situation. But rather

than digging a BIG hole in the middle of the yard and

upsetting your human, dig a lot of smaller holes all over

the yard so they won't notice. If you arrange a little pile

of dirt on one side of each hole, maybe they'll blame the

gophers.


DOORS: The area directly in front of a door is always

reserved for the family dog to sleep.


THE ART OF SNIFFING: Humans like to be sniffed. Everywhere.

It is your duty, as the family dog, to accommodate them.


DINING ETIQUETTE: Always sit under the table at dinner,

especially when there are guests, so you can clean up any

food that falls on the floor. It's also a good time to

practice your sniffing.


HOUSEBREAKING: Housebreaking is very important to humans,

so break as much of the house as possible.


GOING FOR WALKS: Never go to the bathroom on your own lawn.


COUCHES: It is perfectly permissible to lie on the new

couch once your humans have gone to bed.


PLAYING: If you lose your footing while chasing a ball or

stick, use the flower bed to absorb your fall so you don't

injure yourself.


CHASING CATS: When chasing cats, make sure you never quite

catch them. It spoils all the fun.


CHEWING: Make a contribution to the fashion industry: Eat a

shoe.







via Funny Forums by Jokeroo http://board.jokeroo.com/showthread.php?t=160752&goto=newpost

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