Suicide

I've thought a long time about doing this thread, not sure if I wanted to bring to light my personal experiences with suicide, it seems like such a taboo subject?

which is why I decided to go ahead and do it, to shed some light on a subject that's hit too close to home on more than one occasion

if reading what goes on in here stops one person from turning thinking about it to an actual attempt, then it will have served a good purpose!

why is there such shame associated with it?

Debbie tried to take her own life, twice

the first time was when my mother left, I was only 3 so she had to be 4, how does a 4 year old even get the idea to take her own life?

the second time was when she was recovering from the first amputation, she swallowed all of her pain pills in an attempt to escape her pain

she wanted me to know because she wanted to promise me that she'd never try it again

she ended up almost comatose, unable to move or speak but fully aware of what was going on around her, it scared her, that she might be that way for the rest of her life!

that's the thing about attempting suicide, it's not so much if you succeed ... yes, you'll be missed, your loved ones will mourn your loss and miss you every day and wonder why you didn't love them enough to fight to live? and why you felt like you couldn't tell them what was wrong and give them the chance to help you!

but what if you fail? what if you jump off a building and live? what if, in the last second, instinct kicks in and your hand pulls back on the trigger of the gun and you wind up unable to feed or clothe yourself, dependent on those who love you, if you're lucky, to take care of you for the rest of your life (and theirs) ?

recently someone else in my life tried to kill themselves, someone who is beautiful inside and out, someone who has a very long and amazing life still ahead of them (I hope)

for the life of me, I can't imagine not wanting to take another breath?

is suicide cowardice? is it really the last possible answer?

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