Notes from the Edge of Life.....

Notes from the Edge of Life.......

Dear Noah,

We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.

Sincerely,

Unicorns

Dear Twilight fans,

Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.

Sincerely,

Logic

Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a b--ch.

Sincerely,

The Titanic

Dear America ,

You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.

Sincerely,

Canada

Dear Yahoo,

I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...

Sincerely,

Google

Dear girls who have been dumped,

There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.

Sincerely,

BP

Dear Saturn,

I liked it, so I put a ring on it.

Sincerely,

God

Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,

Please lknvfdmv.xvn.

Sincerely,

Stevie Wonder

Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,

Please make one for every skin color.

Sincerely,

Black people

Dear Scissors,

I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.

Sincerely,

Sarah Palin

Dear World of Warcraft,

Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.

Sincerely,

Parents Everywhere

Dear Batman,

What was your power again?

Sincerely,

Superman

Dear Customers,

Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.

Sincerely,

Nail Salon Ladies

Dear Ugly People,

You're welcome.

Sincerely,

Drugs & Alcohol

Dear White People,

Don't you just hate immigrants?

Sincerely,

Native Americans

Dear iPhone,

Please stop spell checking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut. Sincerely,

Every iPhone User

Dear Trash,

At least you get picked up...

Sincerely,

The Girls of Jersey Shore

Dear Man,

Sure it's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?

Sincerely,

Elephant

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